


The Power of Words

by awanderingmuse



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Bullying, Dark, Explicit Language, Gen, References to Suicide, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-04
Updated: 2013-01-04
Packaged: 2017-11-23 15:56:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/623899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awanderingmuse/pseuds/awanderingmuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amethyst is an intern at a psych hospital. She is trying to figure out why there has been an unusual increase in suicidal patients when a man walks below her balcony. Who is he, and what does he want with her?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Power of Words

**Author's Note:**

> So for those who missed the tag, this is like seriously dark stuff. NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART, seriously. I bawl every time I come back to this, and walk away wondering what is wrong with me.

Bright spotlights shone against advertisements, neon signs blinked above business, big replaceable letters glowed in aged yellow signs. They combated the night, trying to attract the wandering eye of a random passerby. Clever slogans hung in the air, threatening to stay in a person’s mind for all eternity. “By your side” “Reach out and touch someone” and “Just do it” stood closest to a shadowed balcony surveying the superficial city. Metal railing beneath chipped white paint had rusted away with time, permitting coarse reddish splotches to appear. Far below the balcony ran a deserted street, resembling a motionless black river. The road functioned as an alleyway rather than a thoroughfare. It came complete with a few homeless men lightly snoring below the dilapidated apartment complexes lower balconies.

  
The city’s seductive lights and poisonous smog covered most of the stars, allowing only the brightest to exist as small points of light shining through a glowing dark purple canvas. A sliver of the waning moon hung loosely in the sky. Much as Amethyst’s sun kissed hands hung limply from the balconies railing. Her eyes watched the average night sky intently. It still unwaveringly captivated her, just as it had grasped her attention and awe as a young child.

  
A cloud drifted by, covering her small patch of sky. It’s extinguished the few stars left in the city’s luminous glow. The alleyway grew darker, and so did Amethysts thoughts. The past couple of days had held many hardships for Amethyst and the mental hospital she interned at. Attempted suicides had increased over past few week. They did not know why they had increased, but it kept the hospital busy. She had very little contact with most patients, since she worked at the front desk. From time to time though a younger patient would decided to attach themselves to her, for reasons she did not quite understand. Her co-workers liked to refer to them as her fans. Sometimes her ‘fans’ would even go so far as to find her during her lunch break and barrage her with questions about herself. Amethyst enjoyed these conversations, and wished her role as office assistant allowed her more interaction with them. Not that she hated her job, in fact she loved it. She wanted to spend her life helping people work through situations such as these, and everyone had to start somewhere, right?

  
As the cloud moved past her patch of sky the stars winked back into existence and so did her good mood. She wondered if Bri had seen the stars tonight, her newest fan would enjoy them, probably even draw something with them in it. Bri had an incredible talent as an artist, something Amethyst envied; she did not have enough imagination to do artwork of Bri’s caliber. She sighed and stared at her hands; thinking of Bri’s poor healing wrists. They had admitted her three days ago, after she tried to kill herself. As Amethyst understood it, Bri’s boyfriend had died in a car accident and she, “didn’t take it so well”, as Bri put it. Amethyst felt that more factored into it, but Bri refused to talk about it. Bri didn’t just seem depressed, as if responding to a tragedy. She seemed beaten down, broken, as if life had given her one too many hardships and she couldn’t take it anymore.

  
Amethyst and Bri talked for a while after Bri’s confession, about previous boyfriends and handling the after, though she talked more than Bri did about the latter. None of Amethyst’s ex’s had died, but one had abandon her, and she found that just as difficult. Bri told her that it didn’t feel real yet, like he hadn’t died, and would call her at any moment. Amethyst assured her that it would feel like that for a while, and that eventually it would become easier to handle. She knew how hollow her words probably sounded to Bri, but she didn’t really know what else to say.

  
“How did you deal with losing him?” Bri asked her after a painfully long pause.

  
“Went emotionally catatonic for awhile,” Amethyst half joked, “and relied heavily on my friends.

  
Bri had nodded, and asked about her friends. Amethyst told her about how they supported her, and let her know they needed her. How they made her go places and have fun, when she just wanted to lie down and die. They had even listened to her rant for hours on end about nothing. It had helped her get through the hard times, knowing they appreciated her, that she mattered to them. Of course, in her depression Bri managed to find the hole in Amethysts way of dealing with life immediately.

  
“What do you do when they abandon you?”

  
“Deal.” Amethyst said. “Take the hit, turn your back, and don’t let them do it again.” Over the years, many people had hurt Amethyst when she needed them most. Running away from the problem seemed the best coping mechanism to Amethyst, if not a little cowardly.

  
A sad sigh escaped Amethysts lips, as she remembered Bri’s response. The poor girl really needed help and time to heal. Something she did not think the overworked staff of the institution could give her.

  
“You always need to keep your outs open.” Bri said so very casually, gently rubbing the bandages on her wrists. Amethyst caught the black meaning behind her words immediately.

  
“Not that one you don’t.” Amethyst responded promptly. “Suicide goes in the ‘not an option’ column. Right?”

  
“It’s not like anyone would care.”

  
“What about your friends?”

  
“They’d get over it.”

  
“Your parents?”

  
“Don’t care about me anyways?”

  
“Really?”

  
“You know parents, all high expectations and disappointment when you mess up.”

  
“I think that’s a sign that they do care, Bri.” Amethyst soothed. “Parents who don’t care wouldn’t take the time to have expectations, or feel disappointment when you mess up.”

  
“How would you know?”

  
“Cause my mom fits your description of parents perfectly, and over time I’ve come to understand that’s her way of saying I matter. I used to see it like you do though.”  
“That doesn’t make any sense.”

  
“It’s better than thinking she doesn’t care at all.”

  
Bri didn’t have a retort for that, so she didn’t say anything at all. Amethyst changed the subject, knowing the conversation had ended. Hopefully she would think about it later. Bri mentioned her drawings and showed her a few of her favorites. Amethyst quickly learned she mostly drew landscapes, and loved drawing the sky.  
Amethyst smiled and looked up from her balcony to the night sky once again. Bri would definitely love how the clouds covered part of the moon right now, and probably portray it flawlessly. She really hoped she saw it tonight, and would think about their conversation as well.

  
Her thoughts about the day suddenly derailed when a shadow appeared at the far corner of the small city block and startled her out of her reverie. It turned towards her and briskly glided down the opposing buildings wall. A man followed behind it soon after, just as dark as his shadow but more substantial. As he came closer Amethyst could see that he had short spiked hair, and wore a bomber jacket over a pressed white shirt and blue jeans. She also thought she heard him whistling an old show tune. It echoed off the walls as he neared her balcony, then, unexpectedly he looked up at Amethyst as if he knew she watched him with down cast eyes. A sardonic smile crossed his features as he really noticed her, his eyes seemed to bore into her soul, like a drill. For a second she felt like he knew all her darkest secrets and fears. Then the sensation passed as if it had never existed, and she expected him to move on without another glance. He did not and she quickly found herself wishing he had.

  
“Hey, you! Jump!” he called out of nowhere with a firm flowing intonation. The set of his face said that he expected her to do as he bid. Amethyst shook her head in dismay and he yelled at her to jump again, in that same expectant tone. She stared at him in absolute horror then. How dare he! She thought as offense flashed through her at his careless words. How dare he! Everyone knew better than to jump from a balcony this high up simply because a stranger said to. Even little Bri knew better than to insult someone by telling them to do so. Everyone did! Everyone except for this man, apparently. The stranger continued his jeering chant, while she started at him in disbelief. Did he seriously think she would end her life simply because he said to? How ridiculous! Disbelief slowly turned to disgust as he continued with his abrupt assault. His behavior made her feel sick.

  
She knew she should go inside and leave this fool to his jeering, but that would give him power over her. Something she rarely conceded to the rest of humanity. Instead she stood her ground and ignored him, hoping he would go away. However, her plan to ignore him until he left failed miserably. Every time she successfully discounted him his chant swelled till it echoed off the alleys walls and directly into her soul. Still she tried not to listen to his demeaning words, a strangers opinion didn’t matter to her anyways.

  
The moon caught her eye and she concentrated on it, so she could tell Bri about its beauty in the morning. The task gave her mind a kind of safe haven. Then the voice changed, pitched higher, more feminine, and all too familiar it called her name. Just like her mother had every morning for twenty two years. “Amethyst!” Her mother’s voice called angrily from below, “Look at me when I talk to you, young lady”.

She looked down instantly, not wanting to anger the middle-aged woman further, to see her mother standing where the man had been seconds before. “You disgrace me!” Her mother cried into the still night. “You fail at everything!” Her mother scoffed. “That little girl you’ve helped will die, because you can’t help anyone, not even yourself. You certainly won’t do anything worthwhile in this world. ”

  
“But you always said I could do so much.” Amethyst whispered to the night, confused. Could her mother truly feel this way about her? Did she truly hate her enough to view her as a disgrace? The woman standing below here could not possibly hear her words. Still she shook her head clearly disagreeing with Amethysts meek, wavering protest.

  
“I lied. What would people think of me as a mother if they knew how badly you failed me? Even as a child you couldn’t do anything right.”

  
“But,” Amethyst tried to protest as her mother took up the man’s chant of “Jump” adding her own epitaphs on Amethyst ability to ruin everything her hands touched. As the woman below jeered at her Amethyst fell into self doubt, if her mother hated her then her childhood existed as a lie. All of her accomplishments meant nothing. Her confidence began to shatter because of a few words.

  
At first she thought her unwanted tears caused her mother’s visage to change. But when she blinked them away the face remained blurred. She watched in absolute shock as her mother’s face slowly contorted into a strikingly familiar face, the face of her ex-boyfriend who had abandoned her. One could not call him handsome, but he had a certain aesthetic appeal that she could never explain. She had so much to ask him, but feared his answers. Why did leave her? Where did he go? Why hadn’t he called her when he left? Started the very long list of questions that had slowly accumulated since the day he disappeared from her life.  
Part of her knew the figure could not possibly have anything to do with him. Part of her knew he had disappeared long ago. Her heart refused to listen. It silently cried with joy and despair at the sight of his face.

  
She started to open her mouth to ask him all of them, but he held up her hand to silence her. “I don’t want to hear it Amethyst.”

  
She opened her mouth again, this time in protest, but he cut across her. “Oh, come on now. How could I ever really love a whiney little bitch like you?” He asked cold heartedly, “I mean sure you have a kind of cute face, and well used to have a good body, but really, don’t lie to yourself. Spending so much time with dull and repetitive little thing like you got boring after awhile. I left because I got tired of that place, and didn’t want to deal with you anymore so I didn’t bother to say good-bye. Got it?”

  
She nodded, tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, again. He heaved and exasperated sigh. “Oh god, I bet you start crying now and pitying yourself. Great.”

  
She shook her head, she refused to cry, she wouldn’t cry. “I don’t see why you don’t just jump.” Her first and only real boyfriend said even as his face started to change yet again with the tears blurring her vision, “It’d make other people’s lives so much easier.”

  
“No one really needs or wants you.” A small pale girl with long auburn hair remarked. “People only hang with you because they pity your sorry ass.”

  
“No.” Amethyst choked in absolute horror. The telltale sign of tear tracks marked the effect of her friend’s words.

  
“Yes,” Alex, her long time best friend argued back. “You live a worthless, pointless, friendless life. You stand at the pentacle of nobodydom, everyone hates you, nobody cares, and you know it.”

  
“No.”

  
“Oh, don’t lie to yourself. Who would ever want you as a friend, seriously?” Alex spat venomously. “You like to think people need you, bull shit I say. No one needs someone like you in their lives. You just bring people down. If you want to help people, jump.”

  
“No.” Amethyst said more than half hysterical at this point. She started to believe the people of her past that made her lack of value very clear. Could they really feel this way about her?

  
As she doubted herself, the face slowly transformed to the Germanic features of an ex-best friend from high school, who nitpicked at all her small flaws, her laugh, her tom boyishness, her love for weird music. Then it morphed into a favorite cousin, and a respected teacher. Each person held some kind of sway over Amethyst, and used that power to bring her down. Taunting her, telling her to jump, reminding her of her numerous failures and belittling her few successes, they ultimately made her feel like the most useless being on the earth.

  
The faces swirled by, in an odd kind of stationary whirlwind, till the silhouetted figure had no definable features. The blurred figure stepped forward disorienting Amethyst even more. She took an involuntary step back, instinctively shying away from the thing below her, and then another as it drew closer. She felt the rough texture of her apartment’s masonry against her back. In a few steps she had trapped herself between solid concrete and her death, held at bay by flimsy railing. The figure stared at her from below, again unlocking her secrets. All its motion had ceased, it didn’t even appear to be breathing. Amethyst faintly wondered if it had a pulse.

  
Many things about the person standing before her, struck Amethyst as wrong. Aside from the not breathing and possible lack of a pulse, it appeared both sexless and ageless. Its form did not have the curves of a woman nor the strong lines of a man, but rather a non-descript combination of the two. The skin did not appear normal Caucasian white, but dull translucent white, like a pile of maggots. The black in its eyes did not stop at the pupil but encompassed the entire eye socket, nor did they reflect the light from the distant street lamps like normal eyes. Instead its eyes consumed the light like two small singularities, sunken in to the figures too white face. It had so much oil in its hanging black locks that its hair glistened in the moonlight. The dark locks shone in the night like snake skin, if a breeze caught the figures hair it would look like Medusas long lost twin. The color of its red lips matched the color of black-red blood gushing form a dying man’s heart.

  
Amethyst waited for this most horrific of beings to speak, to pass its judgment for or against her soul. To say anything at all, but its lips never moved. No air ever passed between them. The being merely stared at her with never-ending depthless eyes, expecting something, something Amethyst felt she could not give. But what did it want form her? What could she possibly do to make it go away? Amethyst already knew the answer, nothing; she could do absolutely nothing to make the thing leave.

  
As it stared at her, the voices from her past, the voices of the people that stood before her only moments ago whispered to her. They spoke to her all at once, but she could still differentiate between them. She heard every comment they made, forcing her to doubt herself, and question her existence. Below her the thing continued to stare demanding, something…

  
“What do you want?” she finally managed to ask the demonic being standing below her.

  
It raised its bony hand and beckoned her forward with a thin, pale crooked finger. Without realizing she did it, her feet shuffled forward bring her closer to the edge.  
“What are you doing?” she demanded louder. Her voice cracked on a hysterical note as her feet moved forward once again, bringing her that much closer to her balconies corroded railing. The pointless babble in her head grew louder, insulting her, making her question her own importance in the world. Her feet shuffled forward again and her hands gripped the old metal and her arms strained to hold her weight as she leaned too far forward. Her mind demanded that she stop. It reprimanded her for her insane behavior. It demanded that she go inside and forget this momentary insanity, but she could not. She no longer had any control of her limbs; she seemed to be at the mercy of the thing below her. As a desperate last bid for her life, Amethyst made eye contact with those ghastly eyes, soundlessly pleading for her life.

  
She found no pity or mercy in those endlessly shallow eyes; she found nothing at all, only blackness. As she leaned further forward over the railing the thing raised its hand and beckoned once more. Amethyst found herself falling as the railing gave way under her weight, or maybe she jumped, she couldn’t remember. Really it didn’t matter. As she fell she realized that no one would ever know what had truly happened to her. They would think she had done it on her own accord. All that work with Bri would mean nothing, because Bri would figure her for a liar. Her friends and families hearts would break when they heard. Would they blame her, or worse blame themselves for her death? Would someone else help Bri? Did it really matter? Amethyst wondered all this, right before she hit the asphalt with the grotesque sound of her spine and skull breaking. Then the void took her.

**Author's Note:**

> Written many years ago during a really low point in my life when I was working stuff out through writing and killing off my characters because I could. 
> 
> That being said I like writing style in it, if not the content. See I tried to make it feel off by taking away ALL the be verbs. Except those in dialogue, cause that just makes it awkward. 
> 
> I have an original fiction that I'm currently working on that should, hopefully, post later in the year that won't kill any characters. So, if you liked this I guess you can check that out when it posts.


End file.
